After weeks of slow sailing in a weak wind pattern, with only occasional gales (after all, we were in the “roaring’ 40ies) and discharge of thunderstorms, our morale was down, and all rations, food and water, were reduced. We were still about 400 miles from land. Our estimated time of arrival in Chile, had already passed. With our average speed over the whole voyage, about 50 miles a day, we would still be 8 days from port. But currently we were sitting in a dead calm and were averaging much less than that…
The Chilean Coast Guard keeps track of all vessels crossing from Easter Island to the continent, since this is a relatively dangerous passage through a largely empty Ocean. Once your estimated time of arrival has passed, your vessel is considered overdue. At this stage all ships are asked to keep a lookout, and report all sightings that could relate to the overdue vessel. Well, … by now we were on that list.
Under pressure of the crew the captain had finally started the engine. But then, after 2 hours of motoring at 4 knots, the engine was stopped by the captain… nobody understood. Flat sea, full tank, good for more than 800 miles, 400 miles to go… motoring out of the wind hole to find better wind closer to the Humbold current was the tactic which was apparently chosen. In the end of the day the crew had booked an instruction cruise on an academy boat, to get the certification as Yachtmaster Offshore. A survival course was not on the program. All crew had lost significant weight. I had lost about 5 kg already. In my case that was very significant and substantial since I have barely any body fat. Understandably, the crew was puzzled. Why start the engine, and stop it after only 2 hours? The progess we made, 8 miles, changed nothing in our situation.
The girls reacted strongly. They loudly questioned the captain. My own position with the captain was deteriorating rapidly, but for the while I kept my thoughts and feelings to myself, and was inclined to listen first. Facing the reaction of the crew, the captain began to complain about the starting “mutiny”. I was by no means willing to participate in anything that could look like it, because I understand the consequences of this, and mainly because I was still interested in the Yachtmaster certification – one of the main reasons for me still being on the boat.
The captain called all crew in the cockpit. He wanted to put a few things straight. With long winded words he explained that he was the captain, and the only one deciding were and how this ship would go. The crew had to understand that this was part of the training, that the crew knew nothing boats, engines and life in general… My forehead started wrinkling… He continued explaining us a few things about diesel engines; Diesel engines were not build to run for long hours. I was puzzled. Before leaving Equador he told us that the engine was a power aggregate, also used in small power plants. So, they were not built to run for long hours? For what I know, diesel engines run as long as they have diesel in their tanks! The bullshit was stinking badly! And I was starting to show my dissatisfaction in front of all this complete bullshit.
I was here on this boat, paying to be instructed. Not to get this type of nonsense, to be treated like an idiot. My motivation to have a Yachtmaster certificate signed by this man was falling rapidly. Like a stone, actually.
The next day the engine was started again. We motored during 4 hours. The same on the next day. Finally the wind kicked in again. We were finally able to approach land. The mood was terrible. During all that time I was pondering about my next steps. The whole episode had put me into an ethical dilemma. Confronted with what I considered a more than unacceptable behavior of the captain, I decided not to give him my support any more, and just continue doing my watches and duties as usual.
Yachtmaster Offshore Exam
The Yachtmaster Exam was scheduled to take place during the last 2 days of our land approach. First the practical part, and on the last day the theoretical part. The couple of days before that, I was miserable. I had two reasons for this trip. One was to make an extended Ocean Voyage, the second was to get the Yachtmaster Offshore certificate. I got the voyage, all right. The second was more difficult now. Not that I feared the exam. It was more of an ethical problem.
I had put up with a lot of bullshit and had stayed quiet a couple of times during this trip, in order not to risk my exam. The captain was, after all, the captain, the instructor, the examiner, all in one person. Not good. But the whole thing was getting a little too much for me to just put up with it now. Doing the exam meant, for me, to silently accept all the behavior of the captain, and worse, to accept his authority to give me a Yachtmaster Offshore Certificate. And deep in my heart I knew that I didn’t. And there was no one I could talk to about that.
I went into a silent isolation. I felt very sad. Besides being quite angry. But, foremost, I was very lonely.
After long pondering I decided not to take the exam. To give up on one of my main objectives for the whole trip. It was a difficult decision. But, in the end I didn’t want it any more. I mean; I didn’t want a certificate with his name and signature on it. It would be a lifelong shame for me - and not a reason for pride, which it was meant to be. In order not to threaten the chances of the rest of the crew, I decided to tell the captain only in the last moment, when it was my time to take the theoretical exam. I therefore asked to be the last to take the test.
Sad arrival
My exam was the last, in the afternoon. The following morning would be landfall. I entered the captain’s cabin at the stern. He began with an introduction, giving me some moral teachings, telling me that I was a good crew, but that it seemed that I had to choose on which side I was. That was my signal. I told him I had already chosen my side, and that I was not taking his exam. He went silent. I took the opportunity to tell him my view on the story. Listed him all my reasons for my decision, and remembered a couple of his bad decisions. But, most importantly, I told him that I didn’t accept his authority to certify me. He said nothing and I left.
Despite being exam day, it seemed that nobody felt like celebrating.
The captain of Columbia