
So, that is the moment many amateur boatbuilders have to face: The eEND - The failure of a dream. The sudden realisation, that it will NOT work out. The strain, the physical effort, the psychologic resources required are just too enourmous, and overwhelming.
The wife is complaining. She wants more attention. The houshold needs free cash flow for investments, maintenance and improvements. But the worst is: She accuses nightly whispers - In sleep, a name was whispered. It started with an "A", which was allright. But it ended with "X", and that was bad...
The family demands. Relationships need to be tended and hatched. Anniversaries, celebrations - conveniently scheduled on Saturdays. Who is busy otherwise on Saturday? What do you do on Saturday? There is allways the Sunday too. Who needs rest. Family parties are as good as rest.
Friends pale away. Try facing a few easy hours of sanding after a night out in the bars. The good news, is that it is sobering. The rest is no good to write about. Else, try preparing a delicious dinner for a couple of friends, after a hot and dry day wearing the epoxy mask. Actually the epoxi mask is the smaller issue. The heat, the sweat dropping into your eyes, into the epoxi are worse. As a matter of fact, keeping up friendships is tough.
What about your other hobbies? Travel? All this is not your's any more. It all goes into hibernation mode. Dormant.
So, it is all true. All the accounts with personal experience. The books that guide you with professional orientation. They all were true. I knew it all over, even before I started the project.
I've tried juggling all these factors in the last 2 years. But now it is too much. I surrender. I'll scrap the boat and burn it.
I've HAD IT!
I believe there can be honour in a gentlemanly act of surrender.
Written: Rio de Janeiro, April 1st. 2010.